Let's talk about layout...

Yes lets. The men's bathroom has a single urinal. Pictured here:


In this picture you can also see one of the two stalls that are available. Here's my issue: putting this urinal this close to the door of the stall has thus negated the purpose or function of this urinal. When you are using it you can't help but worry that if someone comes in and needs to use the stall they'll squeeze by you like a man in a crowded subway car. This worry and anxiety inherently causes a grown man to be unable to release a steady stream, thus lengthening the time spent at the urinal, which adversely increases the amount of time you have to worry about another person coming in, which causes you more anxiety and eventually you are unable to do anything but do your best impression of a man with an enlarged prostate.

If you're going to design a bathroom let's spread the wealth around... or at least make them parallel. But placing the urinal at a perpendicular angle to the stall door (not to mention mere inches from the stall door) makes the act of urinating an awful, anxiety ridden horrorshow.

Let's think about layout the next time we build a bathroom shall we?

Let's talk about the lame attempt at trying to save water

I want to save the environment. I truly do. But let's be real here, if the toilet flushing uses so little water that it somehow can't flush all of the urine that was created, not to mention other things, leading to one or two extra flushes, no one is saving any water.

It might be an issue of pressure... but i'm no plumbing expert... I just know when a toilet sucks. And we have a perp.

Let's talk about the toilets being two inches too tall...

Can we? Can we talk about this? Cause we are going talk about this.

The toilets in this bathroom are about 1 to 2 inches taller than they should be. This means that to the naked eye there is nothing wrong with these devices, but as soon as you sit down you wonder if you have somehow been sent back in time to when you were 11 years old. I say 11 because it's not like these toilets are tall enough so your feet are dangling like a five year old, but at the same time they're not short enough to be able to sit perfectly flat footed so you don't have to focus on your feet and instead focus on the task at hand... that and the game of papi jump you're playing.

As of now your feet are touching at the ball of your foot. Not only is this uncomfortable but if someone were to walk in and see your feet underneath the stall door it would look like you were trying incredibly hard. Like really straining. And sometimes (today) I wear boots and it's entirely obvious who is sitting in the toilet stall clearly straining as hard as he can...

It makes a man want to give up chipotle all together... but I'm not that silly.

We moved offices...

Two weeks ago we moved offices. Technically we just moved up 14 floors in the same building, but when you sit in the new bathroom you feel like you're a million miles away from the old office we once had.

I am a man who spends a large amount of his time in the bathroom. That's fine... I'll admit it... and this new bathroom does not suit my fancy. Beneath it's shiny shiny exterior you can see the vile horridness of a bathroom not meant for human use... but rather a bathroom that was made for catalogues or Greek Gods who never need to use the bathroom for anything but washing their hands and looking charming in.

This bathroom sucks... and I'm going to explain why...